following the call isn’t always ideal.

“the call”.

To me, the call has always been about following God’s will for our lives and seeing that what he has planned for us comes to fruition. I’ve known about following the call for a long time. Growing up with two parents in ministry, I moved around from state to state, city to city a lot as a child and I knew that it was because my parents want to do what they felt that God was telling them to do.

I didn’t always like that call, however.

Sometimes I hated the call. 

At some time, I hated God. 

I was angry;

When I was fourteen and just starting high school, my parents felt called to leave the place I had spent the majority of my childhood and left so my mom could work in some small, rural town I had never heard of. Also so my dad would not have such a heavy commute for his job, but mainly so my mom had a new start.

Right before the move happened, I was fine. Sort of. At some point in the summer, I knew we were moving. But I didn’t know where. Or when. I just knew. It was agonising to me. So much so, for about three weeks, give or take, I had probably the worst bout of continuous anxiety I’ve ever had; I could barely eat, sleep or function, I lost nearly ten pounds in such a short amount of time. It was frightening. I felt better about it once I knew what was happening but I wasn’t thrilled.

What really set off my anger towards God was when it finally settled in that I was leaving behind everything I knew and I was shown around this new place I was apparently supposed to live in.

I started to become bitter. I was angry. I got mad at the idea of a “call”. I had hatred for growing up as a minister’s kid. I was angry at the church. Anything that I could blame for my unhappiness and discontent with what decision my parents made to follow a call.

But I never sought out God through it, I just stayed mad on my own, sulking.

Now fast forward, over six years later, I’m finally starting to understand the idea of following a calling more. The thing is, young Erin, a calling isn’t always ideal and totally beneficial to you; sometimes it means going through circumstances and maybe even hurtful things, (you know this better than anyone, kiddo) but it doesn’t go to waste. It’s worth something because you’re following God’s will and that’s ultimately good.

This also applies to the time I’ve spent as a student at Anderson University. It has never been easy, ever. I struggled immensely during my time as Freshman but I conquered that. Since then, it’s been better but there are many other obstacles and trials I’ve faced and will face as a student. It’s never perfect, there are trying times ahead for myself and I sometimes pose the question to myself “why did I come here?” or “why am I doing this?” “Is it worth it?” but even if I do question it, I do know that this institution has led me to amazing friendships and connections I will have the rest of my life.

I’m fortunate to have so many good, influential people around me who have faith in the plans that The Lord has for them and have followed through.

So because of that, I now know:

following your calling is never a waste. 

The bible says this about calling(s):

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.  – Romans 8:28

following your calling is never a waste. 

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